The Proposal Of A Lifetime!
by fading07
Summary: Vaughn and Sydney express their true feelings...ABSOLUTELY NO LAUREN
1. Default Chapter

The Proposal Of A Lifetime! 

Disclaimer: We don't own Alias, but we sure stalk them a lot!

A/N: This a little something we had in our heads! We've been writing this for months! We're huge ALIAS fans and not so much Lauren…as you can tell from the summary. WARNING DUE TO SEXUAL CONTENT GRAPHIC IMAGERY THIS IS RATED R

Chapter One:

It was a sunny day.

Sydney: Hi Vaughney I'm so excited for out trip.

Vaughn: Me too I'm so happy we're going!

Sydney: I can't wait to sex you up!

Vaughn: Maybe we could go in the shower!

Sydney: I like showers…with you!

Vaughn: Let's go now. J

It was a rainy day.

Sydney: What do you want to just drop down right now and go at it?

Vaughn: Ahhh if you insist!

Sydney: Okay!

WARNING GRAPHIC IMAGERY!

As Vaughn kissed her .

Sydney: Does Woody want to come out and play?

Vaughn: Only if Victoria is ready?

Sydney: What's the hold up?

They consummated like rabbits for hours at a time.

A/N: This is my first story I hope it's not to graphic and I gave it the right rating! Please be kind because like I said it's my first! NEXT CHAPTER: Fun In The Sun (the finally make it to Santa Barbara!)


	2. Chapter 2

The Proposal Of A Lifetime 

A/N: After the overwhelming amount of reviews we got (3) we thought we write another chapter. We hope you enjoy our little story!

andie: Thanks so much for the overwhelming support on our story! We appreciate so much! You mean the world to us!

alias-sydney93001: Yeah, my friends think I have a great sense of humor too! Or maybe it was a weird sense of humor, oh well! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! We put alot of thought into it just for you!

Beth: Thanks for your thoughts, although I have to disagree! First of all we are both female (and no and we're not gay!) we are just big Sydney and Vaughn fans like any other person! We're just trying to lighten the mood! One of my friends actually thought that we should write for ALIAS! Though, we don't appreciate the harsh words, we hope you continue to read.

Chapter 2

Three hours later...after consumating their love for the past three hours...in the shower they decided to peel themselves from each other and be on their way!

(They've been in the car for about 30 minutes)

Sydney: Vaughn I really have to go potty!

Vaughn: Okay, we'll stop!

(They pull over and get out)

Sydney: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Vaughn: Okay, well we're here so...

Sydney: NO! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM...WINK WINK!

Vaughn: The door is over there! (He points)

Sydney: Okay then...

(Sydney walks to the bathroom as Vaughn gets on the phone with Weiss)

Vaughn: Hey!

Weiss: Hey man!

Vaughn: Can I ask you a question?

Weiss: Mike, for the last time just because you can't get it up one time does not mean you're gay!

Vaughn: NO! That wasn't the question, but thanks for that!

Weiss: Oh okay, then what's up?

Vaughn: Sydney just told me she had to go to the bathroom...like 5 times!

Weiss: Tell me exactly how she said it!

Vaughn: Eric I'm not going to pretend to be Sydney!

Weiss: Grow some balls Mike, we're all adults here!

Vaughn: Okay, she said "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM...and then she winked at me! What does this mean?

Weiss: Dude, I think she wanted to go with her...wink wink! Is the reason you didn't go because of the "problem" you were talking about?

Vaughn: First of all I wasn't talking about it, you were! Second of all, NO!

(Vaughn hangs up and heads for the bathroom)

Meanwhile...Sydney having grown impatient from waiting for Vaughn to come, she's decided to take a shit!

A/N: I know we promised that they'd be in Santa Barbara by this chapter, but we had a change of plans and therefore sidetracked them for a short while! We hope enjoy this chapter and please review! They mean the world to us!


	3. Chapter 3

The Proposal Of A Lifetime!

A/N: Thanks for keeping it consistent guys! As long as we keep recieveing the reviews we'll keep writing!

The truly unimpressed: First of all we are very educated people...clearly from our writing you can pick that up! Though we appreciate your review we again have to disagree. We are just trying to have fun with the little Sydney and Vaughn material we are being provided with this season. It's been so long since they've been together that WE are starting to get horny.

AliasIsMyLife: I'm glad somebody knows the meaning of this story. Fun that's all this is. This story is just a way for us to release tension from these season 4, self-contained, no interaction with Sydney and Vaughn episodes!

Alias-Sydney93001: We love you the most since you are truly one of the only ones who gets this! I can tell how you feel...are you horny too?

Chapter 3

Previously on Alias...After Vaughn being a total idiot and not realizing that Sydney wanted him to come to bathroom he called Weiss for moral support. Meanwhile Sydney had grown impatient and sat down on the toilet to take a long awaited shit!

Present time:

(Vaughn urgently runs to the bathroom to clear the air about the misunderstanding earlier.)

(A look into the head of Vaughn as he runs to the bathroom) Vaughn: As I run to the bathroom my mind starts runnning and I think dirty thoughts of what's to come. I try to remember desperately what bra and panties she's wearing...wait did I just say panties? Anyway back to Sydney...it's been so long since the last time she gave me her flower. Myabe Weiss's theory is true...maybe I am gay...wait did I just call myself gay? No I'm not gay...I think...NO I KNOW...no gay man could make her scream like I do. Almost there, almost there!

Meanwhile in the bathroom...

(A look into Sydney's head) Sydney: God it won't come out. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that tacos. I mean I always become constipated after them...I just can't say no to them...just like I can't say no to Vaughn. Okay this thing has to come out...maybe if I think of Vaughn. OKay (she closes her eyes) his eyes, his arms, his...NO BAD SYDNEY! OOOO this is working...almost there. His hair...his hair down there...NO BAD SYDNEY! 

(Vaughn enters) Vaughn to himself: With a quick glance I realize Sydney's no where tobe found. But being the FABULOUS spy I am...FABULOUS?...maybe I am gay? I searched underneath the stalls for the familiar winterberry shoes...god I am gay! I quickly spot them and prepare to enter on so many levels.

(Vaughn busts the door open like the FABULOUS spy he is to find not Sydney) 

Woman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get you creepy gay man!

Vaughn: UHHHHHH...I didn't mean to...I thought you were my girlfriend. She has the same shoes as you.

Woman: You mean the woman next to me who's been moaning and groaning for the last 20 mins.?

(Vaughn busts into the next stall just as Sydney lets the last one release..kerplunk)

Sydney: VAUGHN what are you doing here?

Vaughn: I know what you were insinuating back there...wink wink

Sydney: Well if you say so...

(Sydney looks to that...place...and notes to self to ask if he free balls it.)

As the begin to passionately kiss...

Sydney: Vaughn I don't think this is sanitary as she rips off his shirt...not tearing any buttons...this isn't her first time)

Vaughn (as he accidently sticks his foot into the crapper): No Sydney this isn't gross...this is exactly how I pictured it (to himself...god my foot is stuck in brown goo...that stinks SO BAD...but i've waited so long...it's been like an hour...I never was the patient one...NOW I KNOW WHY I'M NOT GAY!)

As Sydney unzips his pants...and we all know what happens next...you know...wink wink the thing we haven't seen since Welcome To Liberty Village...

(As they both walk out of the bathroom like nothing has happened...they look like they've been through a hurricane...literally his foot is soaking wet and he hair is higher than Marge Simpson's.)

Sydney: That was fun.

Vaughn: Speak for yourself you're foot wasn't stuck in the toilet the whole time.

Sydney: Well it wasn't like you needed it to do what you...do.

Vaughn: Nice to know I leave my customers happy.

Sydney: You have other customers?

Vaughn: No...I didn't mean it like that...I just meant that...whatever.

A/N: Next week on Alias...What other adventures will come along for Vaughn and Sydney...will they EVER make it to Santa Barbara...will Vaughn EVER propose! PLEASE REVIEW 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Proposal Of A Lifetime!

A/N: So after many, many months/years and our overwhelming review (yet again, three) we are back. Yes, we are back. We would like to apologize for taking so long to finally update this amazing story. We know you▓ve missed the sex, as do us all. Just to update you on our lives, we became pornier than we were before. And yes, porny is a word. Horny means you want it, porny means you do it. We▓ve matured in our ripe old age of eighteen. A lot more wisdom, and a whole a lot of sex┘at least for one of us. 

Merbelle007: We love your enthusiasm. It means a great deal to us. We hope that you check up on us from time to time so you can finally read the new and improved version of our story.

Syd: We agree completely. This story is simply a way for us to release our sexual tensions now that Alias is no longer running and our current love interests are occupied. We love you, seriously. Don▓t be creeped out.

FalconWolf3: I really hope you enjoy this update, and that it was everything you▓ve been waiting for the past two years for. wink wink

PinkTheSuperGirl: Yes, we found it necessary to review ourselves, considering it▓s two of us writing. And basically we wanted more reviews to inflate our egos. Yes, we have big heads, and we like big heads too. Especially on Michael Vartan. But that▓s another story for another time. Hmm maybe we should write about Michael and his big head.

LynseyDay: Thanks, finally someone has realized how truly brilliant we are. I mean we are high school graduates after all. We hope you recognize our gained knowledge on the subject aka we did a lot of ⌠research■ on the topics we▓re addressing in this story.

Chapter Four

After what felt like two years, due to Vaughn getting lost (and I do mean VERY lost) so lost that they ended up an hour and a half out of the way. He was possibly concentrating too much on convincing himself that it truly does happen to every guy and he▓s not, in fact, gay. They finally made it to the beautiful beaches of Santa Barbara. YAY!!

(Vaughn and Sydney check into their hotel rooms and enter their suite. )

Vaughn: What the fucking hell that trip was so fucking long!!

Sydney: It▓s not my fucking fault that you can▓t read a map.

Vaughn: Oh, I can read a map. A map that leads right down to your va-jay-jay.

Sydney: Hey!! Quit looking at my va-jay-jay. Unless you really want to!?

(After Vaughn and Sydney got ⌠caught in a net■, they began to have a serious conversation.)

Sydney: All I can think about is how fucking hot you are.

Vaughn: All I can think about is that big bush you have.

Sydney: It▓s not my fault that I don▓t know how to shave down there.

Vaughn: What▓s so difficult about it, you go in a line.

Sydney: Okay, well then if you▓ll excuse me I have to go to the bathroom.

(Vaughn oddly hears the shower running in the bathroom. And later walks in to find what can only be called a pubic stuffed animal in the toilet. He quickly gathers it in a bag to keep for later trading in Kazakhstan, you know since he▒s a spy and everything.)

(Sydney walks out completely naked and Vaughn can▓t keep his eyes off of her.)

Vaughn: You look a blank canvas just waiting for me to spill my paint all over your canvas.

Sydney: I do something for you, you do something for me. I don▓t want to go digging through the forest to find my stump, go shave now.

(Vaughn enters the bathroom and shaves off everything, and I do mean everything. He later puts it in the same bag as Sydney▓s.)

Sydney: What size shoe do you wear?

Vaughn: Excuse me!?

(Vaughn thinks to himself, oh shit, I know what this means. Women never understand that it▓s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean.)

Sydney: Yeah, the size of your shoe. Add one and divide by two.

(Vaughn calculates in his head, five plus one, divided by two equals three. Oh shit!! That can▓t be right. The best thing to do in this situation is to just lie, and pray she doesn▓t really pay attention to how big it is all those times we had the sexy time.)

Vaughn: Ten.

Sydney: Well you know anything over nine is just for show.

(Later as they were watching tv┘)

Vaughn: Sydney, why is your hand down your pants!?

Sydney: Well, you do know that most orgasms for women don▓t come from males. McDreamy is the only man who can do it every time.

Vaughn: McDreamy!? Please he gels his hair with his juices.

Sydney: Yeah, well something▓s working for him.

Vaughn: Is that it, should I just grow my hair and die it black!?

Sydney: And add a few inches to the actual shoe size.

Vaughn: Fine, well I hope you and McSteamy have a great life together.

Sydney: Actually, it▓s McDreamy, but I▓m open for threesomes.

(Vaughn storms out of the room, slamming the door in the process.)

A/N: So as you can see, we▓ve included a lot more references to some of our newest obsessions since Alias has ended. If you can figure them all out, well then you▓re just as scary as us. I hoped you enjoyed this, because who knows when the next one will come around. Hopefully it won▓t be in another two years. We just don▓t like to update over the phone or online. We can only work well in person and seeing as we live on opposite sides of the country, it makes things difficult. But anyway, we hope we didn▓t leave you in too much suspense. Reviews make us update faster (okay not really since we can▓t control the cost of airline tickets) but still, they make our day. J 


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